The Taliban Is Offering Incentives for New Suicide Bomber Recruits…Here’s Why the Bombers Do It And It May Not Be What You Think

By kamui29 shutterstock.com
By kamui29 shutterstock.com

Via the media, we’ve all witnessed the aftermath of Islamic suicide bombers driving hellbent into crowds and pushing a detonate button. For their heroism and dedication to Allah, their reward is being left to deal with 70 wives in what they describe as Utopia. But, what about the honest-to-goodness family they leave behind? The second question in everyone’s mind is just how much faith would it take for a person to even think about blowing themselves to a kingdom that’ll never come?

Suicide bombers are highly praised by their peers who aren’t as willing to go to such lengths. One wife is already one too many so they want to extend their worldly life. But there’s more to the decision than meets the eye and it isn’t a haphazard spur-of-the-moment choice. Even after being trained in the art of pushing a button, suicide bombers can still back out. However. To falter on such a commitment would cause them terrible disgrace beyond the worth of living so they start their engines and drive off to die.

Suicide bombers who won’t do it for the glory are offered incentives to carry out their one and only mission. Since the prizes can only be posthumously awarded, they go to the dead man’s family. The bombers are promised that their families will receive a lump of money and a free plot of land on which their widow can raise her fatherless children. See how it all makes perfect sense? No? Us either.

Taliban interior minister Sirajuddin Haqqani recently met with a bunch of suicide bombers’ families to inform them of the rewards they would receive. Haqqani’s spokesperson, Saeed Khosty, tweeted about the meeting.

Khosty relayed how Haqqani had lavished praise on “martyrs and fedayeen,” the terms used for past bombers who gave it all for a cause nobody really understands. Haqqani said they were “heroes of Islam and the country.” He wrapped up the meeting by handing each of the families in attendance, 10,000 afghanis for their immense sacrifices. This is the equivalent of…hang on…112 American dollars. This and a barren plot of dusty land is what a suicide bomber’s life is worth.

Khosty ’s tweet included a few pics of Haqqani, all with his face intentionally blurred out, showing him hugging and loving on the families as he was expressing his gratitude for the one job the previous heads of their households had accomplished so well.

All of this falls on the heels of the Taliban begging the world to recognize them as the legitimate government of Afghanistan. But this incident only shows how their actions run counter-productive to what they’re saying about themselves. They say they’ve lightened up and might even look into this human rights craze if all goes well in the interim.

In reality, the only reason they wish to be officially recognized is to qualify for the financial and humanitarian aid they so desperately need. Afghanistan is on the brink of financial collapse and the country’s people are starving to death. Literally. 

They would like to kindly be nursed back to health so as to replenish the strength they will need to resume their terrorist activities where they had to so abruptly had to leave off. And shoot, for $112 and a patch of useless land they should have wannabe suicide bombers trying to cut into the long line to be first.