The Taliban Wants $10 Billion in Frozen Funds Thawed and Delivered…They Say They’ve Learned Their Lesson

Trent Inness/
Trent Inness/

Times are desperate in Afghanistan as its economy scrapes bottom and food and other necessities become in shorter supply by the minute. Daily atrocities at the hands of Taliban troops have citizens living in fear, yet the militant’s higher-ups would have us believe how they’ve taken a softer approach this time around.

They’re no longer the bloodthirsty tyrants of old but they can’t seem to shake the well-founded stigma of their past. And, they no longer have any qualms to settle with the U.S. The time has come to let bygones stay in the past and buddy up for the betterment of a more peaceful and harmonious one-world type of society. Everybody now; “We are the world…we are the children…

Words are about the only thing the Taliban can afford these days, but even so, they’re very generous with them. Afghanistan’s new foreign minister, Amir Khan Muttaqui told The Associated Press that the country is seeking worldwide“ mercy and compassion” for the millions of Afghans who are hanging on to life by a thin thread. However, at the same time, the Taliban has not indicated any willingness to step aside to solve the crisis, so consequently, their quest has been futile.

Muttaqui, amid a cloud of rancid smoke billowing from one of his orifices, said the new Taliban leadership is highly committed to educating women and allowing them to compete in the workforce. He claims they’ve done a complete 180 this time around.

Since everything comes down to money, let’s cut to the chase. The Taliban wants the $10 billion in funds that were frozen when they came marching into Kabul on Aug 15, thawed, packaged, and express delivered. Muttaqui confusingly said, “Sanctions against Afghanistan … would not have benefit. Making Afghanistan unstable or having a weak Afghan government is not in the interest of anyone,” he all but pleaded.

Muttaqui said he’s aware of the bad rap the Taliban got for limiting women’s rights in the past, and of this they are ashamed. Yet, since the Taliban brutally seized power, girls in grades 7 through 12 have not been permitted to attend class, and women have not returned to jobs they were forced to quit. This he said was only because they haven’t as yet had time to sort out how to segregate classrooms and work environments by gender. Integration of the two is in direct violation of their stringent interpretation of Allah’s law.

Insinuating how change takes time, Muttaqui said. “We have made progress in administration and in politics … in interaction with the nation and the world. With each passing day, we will gain more experience and make more progress.” Meanwhile, the Taliban’s latest batch of proof-pudding is suffering from gel dysfunction. It has yet to harden while they’re playing the give it time card. Besides, it’s nothing $10 billion won’t cure. 

Muttaqui said the Taliban isn’t targeting anyone and blamed the mass exodus of Afghan citizens on the previous government. He said the old regime was carrying out revenge attacks against the Taliban and they killed hundreds of the wrong people. This caused many more thousands to flee in fear. Like the U.S. calvary, it was the Taliban that came to the rescue.

Rest assured, no one in any government circles anywhere, oddly enough including Joe Biden, is gullible or dense enough to purchase any of the Taliban’s free-flowing words. While they would like for the world to forget their horrendous past, instead, the world has learned from it.